It’s no secret that astrology is big business. Millions of people around the world read their horoscopes religiously, looking for guidance on everything from relationships to career paths. But what many people don’t know is that some horoscopes are much harsher than others.
Some astrologers make jokes about how Scorpios are “the assassins of the zodiac” and how Libras are “constantly indecisive.” While these jokes may be funny to some, they can also be hurtful and damaging to those who read them.
So which horoscopes make the harshest jokes? Read on to find out!
1. Scorpio: The “Assassin” of the Zodiac
Scorpios are often portrayed as dark, brooding, and dangerous. They’re also known for their sharp wit and biting humor. While some Scorpios use their humor to make lighthearted jokes, others use it to hurt and belittle others.
Some of the harshest jokes about Scorpio center around their supposed tendency to be murderous and vengeful. For example, one joke says that if you cross a Scorpio, you’d better watch your back – because they’re likely to kill you in your sleep!
2. Aries: The Hot-Headed Fire Sign
Aries are known for being passionate and fiery. They’re also known for their short tempers and impulsive behavior. While this can make them fun and exciting to be around, it can also lead to them acting impulsively and saying things that they later regret.
Some of the harshest jokes about Aries center around their supposed hot-headedness and impulsive nature. For example, one joke says that if you need something done quickly, you should ask an Aries – because they’re likely to just do it without thinking it through first!
3. Taurus: The Stubborn Bull
Taurus are known for being stubborn and set in their ways. They’re also known for their down-to-earth practicality. While this can make them great at getting things done, it can also lead to them being inflexible and unwilling to change.
Some of the harshest jokes about Taurus center around their supposed stubbornness and inflexibility. For example, one joke says that if you want something done your way, you should ask a Taurus – because they’re likely to just do it without considering your input!
4. Gemini: The Two-Faced Twins
Geminis are known for their dual nature. They can be both outgoing and shy, fun-loving and serious, etc. While this can make them interesting and complex people, it can also lead to them being seen as two-faced and untrustworthy.
Some of the harshest jokes about Gemini center around their supposed dual nature. For example, one joke says that if you want to know what a Gemini is really thinking, you should ask their other half – because they’re likely to be completely different from what they initially told you!
5. Cancer: The Moody Crab
Cancers are known for their moodiness and emotionality. They’re also known for their caring and compassionate nature. While this can make them great friends and caregivers, it can also lead to them being seen as oversensitive and overly emotional.
Some of the harshest jokes about Cancer center around their supposed moodiness and emotionality. For example, one joke says that if you want to know what a Cancer is really feeling, you should ask their mood ring – because they’re likely to be completely different from one day to the next!
6. Leo: The Egoistic Lion
Leos are known for their confidence and charisma. They’re also known for their ego and sense of self-importance. While this can make them great leaders and motivators, it can also lead to them being seen as arrogant and self-centered.
Some of the harshest jokes about Leo center around their supposed ego and sense of self-importance. For example, one joke says that if you want to know what a Leo is really thinking, you should ask themselves – because they’re likely to be the only ones who matter!
7. Virgo: The Perfectionistic Virgin
Virgos are known for their perfectionism and attention to detail. They’re also known for their practicality and level-headedness. While this can make them great at getting things done, it can also lead to them being seen as nit-picky and uptight.
Some of the harshest jokes about Virgo center around their supposed perfectionism and attention to detail. For example, one joke says that if you want something done right, you should ask a Virgo – because they’re likely to just do it themselves if they don’t think you’ll be able to do it perfectly!
8. Libra: The Indecisive Scales
Libras are known for their indecisiveness and people-pleasing nature. They’re also known for their fairness and sense of justice. While this can make them great mediators and negotiators, it can also lead to them being seen as wishy-washy and ineffectual.
Some of the harshest jokes about Libra center around their supposed indecisiveness and people-pleasing nature. For example, one joke says that if you want something done quickly, you should ask a Libra – because they’re likely to just go with whatever everyone else wants!
9. Sagittarius: The Adventurous Archer
Sagittarians are known for their sense of adventure and love of travel. They’re also known for their bluntness and lack of filter. While this can make them great at speaking their mind, it can also lead to them being seen as tactless and insensitive.
Some of the harshest jokes about Sagittarius center around their supposed bluntness and lack of filter. For example, one joke says that if you want to know what a Sagittarius is really thinking, you should ask their forehead – because they’re likely to just say whatever comes to mind without thinking first!
10. Capricorn: The Ambitious Goat
Capricorns are known for their ambition and drive. They’re also known for their practicality and level-headedness. While this can make them great at achieving their goals, it can also lead to them being seen as workaholics and control freaks.
Some of the harshest jokes about Capricorn center around their supposed ambition and drive. For example, one joke says that if you want something done quickly, you should ask a Capricorn – because they’re likely to just work tirelessly until it’s done!
11. Aquarius: The Unpredictable Water-bearer
Aquarians are known for their independent streak and love of freedom. They’re also known for their unpredictability and eccentricity. While this can make them great at thinking outside the box, it can also lead to them being seen as aloof and detached.
Some of the harshest jokes about Aquarius center around their supposed unpredictability and eccentricity. For example, one joke says that if you want to know what an Aquarius is really thinking, you should ask their pet – because they’re likely to be just as strange and unpredictable as their owner!
12. Pisces: The Sensitive Fish
Pisces are known for their sensitivity and compassionate nature. They’re also known for their dreaminess and creativity. While this can make them great at art and music, it can also lead to them being seen as overly emotional and unrealistic.
Some of the harshest jokes about Pisces center around their supposed sensitivity and compassionate nature. For example, one joke says that if you want to know what a Pisces is really thinking, you should ask their therapist – because they’re likely to be in touch with their feelings more than anyone else!
